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Herding Cats Page 16


  As captain, the day will come when you’re no longer sure about the first name on the team sheet. Do you really want to keep doing all of this? Ultimately cricket is about making decisions. Forward or back? Play or leave? Full or short? The captain, amateur or professional, helps his team-mates with these decisions where he’s able to, as well as making his own. But the last one is the greatest of all. Do you carry on?

  The end of the season creeps up on a captain. The relentless toll of fixtures in May, June and July gives way to August, when most of your team vanish on holiday. Many sensible skippers don’t even schedule matches during this month. Then suddenly your team want to play every game before it’s too late. The off-season is there for a reason. Namely you, the captain. You have seven months in which you can catch up with the rest of life. Come September, you are worn down by the effort and organisation of the season so far. Tempers fray, starting with yours but the team’s enthusiasm reminds you why you do this and why you just might put yourself through it all again once more.

  Acknowledgements

  The first rule of cricket captaincy, I’ve decided, is not to write a book. I await next season with trepidation.

  The second rule of cricket captaincy should be to thank your team-mates, for so many moments of shared joy and for unwittingly providing the material for this book. So, in roughly chronological order, I’m very grateful to Tom Holland, for introducing me to this world of cricket played badly; to Nicholas Hogg, for providing the spark that revived the Authors and playing so wholeheartedly; to Jon Hotten and Anthony McGowan for being almost ever-present, good-humoured and very funny; to Sam Carter, Alex Preston, Matthew Parker, William Fiennes, James Holland, Peter Frankopan, Sebastian Faulks, Richard Beard, Mirza Waheed, Andy Zaltzman, Kamila Shamsie, Amol Rajan, Ed Smith, Dan Stevens, Thomas Penn, Joe Craig, Ben Falk, Tristan Jones and Jonathan Beckman for that fantastic first season. Both on and off the pitch, Laura Jeffrey, Matt Thacker, Digvijay Kathiwada and Ngayu Thairu have been heroic and extraordinarily generous. Thanks to those who have joined us subsequently – Jonathan Wilson, Tim Beard, Andrew Lycett, Andrew Duff, Oliver Craske, Robert Winder, Will Sutton, John Sutton, David Owen, Daniel Rosenthal, Dan Norcross, Iain O’Brien, Steve Cannane, Alex Goldie, Roger McCann, and many more. Especial thanks to all the teams we’ve played who have so generously hosted us on their beautiful grounds. Many others offered invaluable help to our team over the years, in particular Steven Murphy and Keith Gapp.

  I’d like to thank also my brilliant and patient publisher Charlotte Atyeo, whose idea it was to structure the book in this way, Holly Jarrald, Lizzy Ewer and Henry Lord at Bloomsbury and Wisden; my terrific agent Nicola Barr; and Mike Brearley for his generous foreword. Jon, Tony, Sam, Peter, Sebastian, Richard and Alex all read early drafts of this book and made clever and thoughtful suggestions. Thanks also to Marcus Berkmann and Tim Rice for their encouragement, particularly when both are far better qualified to write this book.

  Lastly I’d like to thank those who let us play. Julia Kingsford has been kind and tolerant during the research and writing of this book, as have the authors with whom I’m fortunate to work. My parents and sister have put up with years of this unseemly cricket obsession. And my girlfriend Rosamund has to deal with it every day. I cannot thank them all enough.

  Index

  Adams, Paul here

  administrative duties here, here

  advice, timing here

  Akhtar, Shoaib here

  Akram, Wasim here

  Ali, Moeen here

  Allen, Woody here

  all-rounders here

  Ambrose, Curtly here, here

  Amla, Hashim here

  Archibald, Steve here

  Atherton, Mike here, here

  Austin, Ian here

  authority here, here

  Authors’ Club, the here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here

  balls here

  Barnes, S. F. here

  Barrie, J. M. here, here, here, here, here

  batsmen here, here, here; big hitters here; as captains here, here; defensive here; instinct here; middle order here, here, here; opening here, here, here, here, here; practice here, here; sensitivity here; styles here; weak here, here

  batting order here

  Benaud, Richie here, here

  Berkmann, Marcus here, here, here

  Best, George here

  Birkenshaw, Jack here

  Birley, Derek here

  bladder control here

  Bodleian Library, the here

  Botham, Ian here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here

  bowlers and bowling here, here, here; as captains here; captains position here; changing here; and fielding here; getting the yips here; at the interval here; leg-spin here; match-management here; opening here, here, here; practice here, here, here; spin here, here, here; swing here; types here; worst here

  Boxing here

  Boycott, Geoff here

  Bradman, Donald here, here, here

  Brathwaite, Carlos here

  Brearley, Mike here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here

  Butt, Salman here

  Buttler, Jos here

  Cairns, Chris here

  Campbell, Charlie here, here

  captain, choosing here

  car ownership, importance of here

  Clarke, Giles here

  Clarke, Michael here, here

  coaching here, here, here

  competition here

  complacency here

  Compton, Denis here

  Conan Doyle, Arthur here

  Cook, Alastair here, here, here

  Cowdrey, Colin here

  cricket, as faith here

  Cronje, Hansie here

  Currer, Father Tony here

  Daniel (wicketkeeper) here

  Daniel, Wayne here

  de Selincourt, Hugh here, here

  de Villiers, A. B. here

  decision making here

  declarations here, here

  decline here

  delegation here, here

  Dhoni, M. S. here, here, here

  disputes here

  dog turds here

  Donald, Allan here

  Downton, Paul here

  Dravid, Rahul here

  dress here

  dressing-room atmosphere here

  drinking here

  drop-outs here

  ECB here

  end-of-season awards here

  England here

  enthusiasm here

  Essex here

  excuses here

  expenses here

  family here

  Ferguson, Alex here

  fielders and fielding: attacking here, here, here, here, here; and the bowler here; depth here; opening positions here; strategy here

  finance here

  Fingleton, Jack here

  fitness here

  Fletcher, Duncan here

  Fletcher, Keith here

  Flintoff, Andrew here, here

  football here, here, here, here

  game, relationships with here

  Gatting, Mike here

  Gayle, Chris here

  Giddins, Ed here

  Giggs, Ryan here

  Gillette Cup here

  Gower, David here

  Grace, W. G. here, here, here, here

  grounds here

  groundsmen here, here, here

  Guardiola, Pep here

  guest players here

  Hambledon here

  Hamilton, Gavin here

  Herath, Rangana here

  Hick, Graeme here

  Hogg, Nicholas here, here, here, here, here

  Holland, Tom here, here, here, here

  Hollywood Cricket Club here

  Hotten, Jon here, here

  Hughes, Kim here

  Hughes, Spike here

  hundreds here, here

  Illingworth,
Raymond here, here, here

  improvement, achieving here

  Imran Khan here, here

  India here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here

  interval, the here

  intimidation here

  Inzamam-ul-Haq here

  Jardine, Douglas here, here

  Joe (batsman) here

  Jones, Dean here

  Jones, Simon here

  Karloff, Boris here

  Karno, Fred here

  Kent here, here

  kit here

  Lara, Brian here, here

  last game of the season here

  leadership here, here, here

  Le-Clercq, Mark here

  Lillee, Dennis here

  Lord’s: MCC Indoor School here, here; Nursery Ground here

  MCC here

  MCC Indoor School, Lord’s here, here

  McCullum, Brendon here, here, here

  Macdonell, A. G. here

  McGowan, Anthony here, here

  McGrath, Glenn here, here

  McKenzie, Neil here

  Maharaja of Porbandar here

  Malcolm, Devon here, here, here

  Marsh, Steve here, here, here

  Marshall, Hamish here

  match-management here

  Medlycott, Keith here

  Middlesex here, here

  Miller, Keith here

  Milne, A. A. here

  Misbah-ul-Haq here, here

  Morgan, Eoin here

  Moseley, Hallam here

  motivation here, here, here

  Mourinho, José here

  Murdoch, Iris here

  Murdoch, Rupert here

  Murray, John here

  Nash, Malcolm here

  nightmare scenarios here

  non-playing captains here

  non-playing members here

  O’Brien, Iain here, here

  off-season here

  ōllamaliztli here

  O’Neill, Joseph here

  on-field captaincy here

  Ormond, Jimmy here

  Orwell, George here

  Parfitt, Peter here

  partnerships here

  pecking orders here

  performance, improving here

  Peter (former Croatian international) here

  Pietersen, Kevin here, here, here, here

  Pinter, Harold here

  pitch inspection here

  pitches here, here

  planning here

  players here, here, here; assessing here, here; drop-outs here; egos here; lack of concentration here; latecomers here; limitations here; missing here; record falsification here; sulking here

  Ponting, Ricky here, here, here

  practice here; avoiding here; dangers here; net sessions here, here, here, here; pre-season training here

  preparations here

  professionals, fielding here

  pub lunches here

  Ramprakash, Mark here, here

  Rana, Shakoor here

  Ranjitsinhji, Prince here

  recruitment here, here

  responsibilities here

  retirement here

  Richards, Viv here, here, here, here

  ringers here

  rituals here

  Roebuck, Peter here, here

  Rogers, Chris here

  Rome here

  rotating captains here

  run-outs here

  runs, making here

  St Peter’s CC here, here

  Sangakkara, Kumar here, here, here

  Schjelderup-Ebbe, Thorlief here

  self-doubt here

  setting up here

  Shakespeare, William here

  Shankar, Adrian here, here

  Shaw, George Bernard here

  Singh, Yuvraj here

  Slocombe, Philip here

  smartphones here

  Smith, C. Aubrey here

  Smith, Ed here, here

  Sobers, Gary here, here

  South Africa here

  speed gun, the here

  Sri Lanka here, here, here

  Stanford, Allen here

  Stanford Super Series here

  Steele, David here

  Stevens, Edward “Lumpy ” here

  Stewart, Alec here

  Stokes, Ben here, here

  sulking here

  Swann, Graeme here

  switching off here

  Symonds, Andrew here

  Tankerville, Earl of here

  Tavaré, Chris here

  Taylor, Brian here

  tea here

  team hierarchy here

  team selection here, here, here

  team spirit here, here

  team talks here

  Telfer, Kevin here

  Tendulkar, Sachin here, here

  The Nightwatchman here

  Thomson, Jeff here, here

  thought processes here, here

  timed games here, here

  toss, the here

  touring here; drinking here; joys of here; local conditions here; problems here; room sharing here

  Tufnell, Phil here

  Twenty20 here, here

  umpires here, here, here, here

  V&A Cricket Club here

  Valley of Rocks here

  van der Bijl, Vintcent here

  Vaughan, Michael here

  Vettori, Daniel here

  vice-captain here

  Walsh, Courtney here

  Waqar Younis here

  Warborough Green here

  Warne, Shane here, here, here

  Waugh, Mark here

  Waugh, Steve here

  weather here

  White, Bob here

  wicketkeepers here, here, here, here

  Willis, Bob here

  winning, desire for here

  Wisden Cricketers’ Almanack here

  Wodehouse, P. G. here

  Yagnik, Dishant here

  yips, getting the here

  youth cricket here

  John Wisden & Co Ltd

  An imprint of Bloomsbury Publishing Plc

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  First published 2017

  © Charlie Campbell, 2017

  Charlie Campbell has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988, to be identified as Author of this work.

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  British Library Cataloguing-in-Publication Data

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  ISBN: HB: 978-1-4729-2571-8

  ePub: 978-1-4729-2573-2

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